so just to keep everyone informed and up to date and not really for any other reason i'm going to post this:

last week i had a huge depression relapse
i guess the stress of the store and the timing of the SAD hit me really hard.
life has been hardly bearable at times
to top it off i found out this morning i have a double ear infection and a sinus infection
i have not been sleeping or eating solid foods

i realized this has all been going on i started getting help, got my meds fixed but it will take a few weeks for that to kick in, i got antibiotics today for the infections and i'll start back on ambien
shawn and a friend are taking care of me making sure i eat and checking in on me in the store