an open letter to my MIL

due to my nonconfrontational nature, i'll just post my thoughts here where you are unlikely to find them:

dear MIL,
i have two words for you :NATURAL FIBERS.
what are those sheets on the guest bed made from?
every night i fear ill slip out of bed due to their
unnatural silkyness. they creep me out.
not very sincerely
your DIL